When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State (eBook)

Description

I m dreaming of a Serge Christmas . . .
Palm trees with twinkle lights . . .
Santa s big belly protruding over a neon Speedo . . .

It s ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who s been naughty and who s been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents.

But before that, it s all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there s that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves-they bite). While you re there, skip the lame photo on Santa s lap-Serge will give you a lap ride you ll never forget. As for that addled elf Coleman, there s nothing like a white Christmas. Let it snow!

So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!

About the Author

Tim Dorsey was a reporter and editor for the Tampa Tribune from 1987 to 1999, and is the author of thirteen novels. He lives in Tampa, Florida.

Praise for When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State…

“Fans of Dorsey’s slapstick-comedy style will find plenty to like. Dorsey again proves he’s some sort of mad master with a concoction that features zany physical comedy, dark humor, social commentary, and Florida history.”
-Tampa Tribune

“The cover of Dorsey’s book boasts, “A JOYOUS CHRISTMAS GREETING FROM THE CRIMINAL NUTBARS OF THE SUNSHINE STATE” and I must say…it’s all that and so much more. … Hilarious...Dorsey will hold you captive until the last word is read!”
-Suspense Magazine

“Fun to read. …Sick and twisted, but delightfully so. Serge is one hard core Santa figure…memorable.”
-Gainesville Times

“A satisfyingly large punch of classic Dorsey craziness. …Serge’s paradoxical personality is at its most charming.”
-Publishers Weekly

“Dorsey weaves in the overt insanity of our holiday season with his own special brand to give us a special little tome. [When Elves Attack] will win Dorsey new fans.”
-Florida Times-Union

“The perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday novellas”
-GoodReads

“Mayhem-filled”
-Kirkus Reviews

“Dorsey serves up some zany holiday. …Full of suspense and more than a few chuckles.”
-Patriot Ledger

“Dorsey, following Carl Hiaasen’s star, spin[s] goofball yarns about Florida’s inherent craziness.”
-Star News Online

“Hilarious”
-Tulsa World

“With a gleefully iconoclastic streak of holiday pandemonium, Dorsey ramps up the usual Serge-and-Coleman mayhem by several notches. You’re in for a heck of a sleigh ride here.”
-EagleTribune.com

“Plenty of mayhem, sex and, yes, death. ”
-Las Vegas Review-Journal

“Hilarious. ... Dorsey never seems to run out of new and unique ways for his deranged creation to dry up the gene pools of the rude and the inconsiderate. His research of Florida’s history and penchant for sprinkling arcane trivia throughout his books make each and every one a keeper.”
-Bookreporter.com

“You Gotta Read This…best laughs.”
-Macon County Herald